Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I Survived Yoga

I have been wanting to go to this yoga class at a nearby community center for about a year now. It is inexpensive and welcomes all levels, so it is perfect for me. But I have anxiety issues, which makes it really difficult for me to do things that may involve new experiences, where I may not know what to do or where to go, etc. For some reason, these situations cause me to panic and blush and sweat and feel like a complete moron. So I avoid these situations.
I have been trying to work on my anxiety, with and without medication, so I decided to go to the yoga class. My heart is racing right now, just remembering how I felt when I was getting ready to leave my apartment. It turned out okay, though. I found a place to park without giving up and driving home and then walked from the car to the community center, with lots of traffic driving by and people witnessing my yoga outfit and everything, and made it into the yoga class without too much sweating. My cheeks, however, were flushed.
The instructor was very nice and assured me that where I put my mat was okay and I didn't die right there on the spot or run from the room crying when she said, after we had been doing poses (is that what you call it?) for a while and I was totally sweaty and red faced, that there would be partner work (Thank God a friend had mentioned that this sometimes happens in yoga classes or I would have most likely turned a horrific shade of purple and lost my ability to speak). Luckily, the girl next to me decided to be my partner and saved me from the dreaded "looking around the room hoping desperately to be picked by someone but not wanting to look too desperate" thing. She was very nice and didn't mind that I was a complete novice and I didn't mind that she put her feet on my shoulders and I tried not to think about what she thought about my feet touching her and then it was over and I was surprised to find that I was still alive and no one was pointing at me and laughing and my partner didn't suggest that I might not want to come back to the class again.
The actual yoga part was fantastic and I felt stretched and strong and I will definitely be going back next week. I might even go tomorrow for a gentle yoga class because I really do need to work on my flexibility.
I have been thinking today of starting the prenatal vitamins, but I really do enjoy having a fully functional digestive system. My poor hypothetical baby. I am thinking of only myself already.

No comments: