Drawing Blood

I went and had a blood test today. Testing FSH levels? I also picked up a kit for the husband so he can have his stuff evaluated. It is starting to feel as if everyone is pregnant except for me, but I know that others have had much more trouble getting pregnant than I could even begin to fathom. I think that it is hard for me because I am such a type A and I wanted my kids to be three years apart and here we are heading to four years or more and for some reason it makes me sad. I need to just let go and let things happen the way they are going to happen.

Back Again

Wow, that was a long break. On Sunday I will have a three-year-old. My doctor asked me the other day if it flew by and I had to honestly say, no. There are times when time flew, but I do feel as though I am living each moment and I feel time passing. When I look at baby pictures of my son, I can't believe that he was ever that baby and I try to recall how I was feeling and what my life was like then and it is hard to do. That's what I mean by saying that time has not flown by. I feel as though that was a whole other life ago, the baby years. We are now embarking, or trying to embark on a new voyage, that's what the doctor visit was about. We'll see how that goes.

Post Holiday

We went to the Mid West for the holidays. We landed on Christmas Eve right after the start of the biggest blizzard to hit that part of the country in sixty year - or so we were told. Ace got the experience snow and really, really cold weather for the first time. Since he is still cruising and not walking, not a lot of time was spent out doors, but he got to dress up in adorable hats and sweaters and I got to take some good pictures.
While we were away he stayed on Los Angeles time, which was wonderful. He had two colds in a row, though, starting right before we left, and I caved and started feeding him when he woke up in the night. I couldn't stand hearing his stuffy little cries. I continued feeding him at every night waking while we were not at home, since I felt kind of bad for him. We've been home three nights now and managed not to feed him last night and just let him cry himself back to sleep. It only took about five minutes. Hopefully tonight will be similar.
Ace's first Christmas was ok. I hated being away from our home, but I guess you have to do things you don't want to do when in laws are involved. Ace got great presents from his Nana and Papa, but I was annoyed that no one held back his older cousins, who insisted on "helping" unwrap his presents and then pretty much grabbed the toys away from helpless Ace and started playing with them. These older cousins have had so much fussing over them through the years, I thought it really unfair that their parents and grandparents didn't tell them to leave Ace's things alone and let Ace have his moment. But maybe that's my own personal baggage coming through. B agreed with me, however, so maybe not.
Ace is getting around really fast these days, by creeping (I think that's what they call the army crawl he uses) and cruising, but I don't think he is that close to walking. Others disagree.
He is babbling just a little, less than I'd like him to. I always thought a baby of mine would be an early talker, but I guess not. He understands a lot, though, which is fun to see.
Next up will be weaning and I am trying to learn as much as I can about that now. He isn't great with a sippy cup, but does well with a straw, so I might just skip the sippy cup - I've read it's not very good for their oral development anyway - and transition to a straw cup and then just a regular cup. I'm going to try and change up one of his nursing sessions and give him the breast milk in a straw cup and see how it goes.
New Year's Resolutions are: weigh less, work on some individual projects and get organized. I should probably add find a job, but that one boggles my mind currently, so I'll think about that later.

Back Again and How We Got Our Baby to Sleep Through the Night

I fell off the updating wagon for a while there. Ace is now eight months and a lot has happened in his development since July. But it also seems as though not too much has happened and things are still kind of status quo, which is kind of nice.
Let's see what Ace can do now: roll over both ways, sit up unassisted, chew with his one bottom tooth, eat solid foods - both purees and chunks of things, stands pretty well with support, army crawls a bit, can grab things easily and is working on his pincer grasp. I think that's about it.
Oh, wait, the biggest thing: Ace sleeps through the night. At least he did until a week ago when we took a trip to NJ and messed up his sleeping routine a bit. At about five months I realized that he cried whenever he got tired, no matter if he was in his carseat, crib, or in my arms. I did some internet research and read on AskMoxie that some kids just need to let off some steam before falling asleep and will cry. You don't know if you have that kind of kid unless you let him cry a bit. So one day, I did. I let Ace cry for five minutes and after those five minutes he was so close to sleep that all I had to do was put the pacifier in again and he rolled over, grabbed his baby and fell asleep. I was besides myself with glee.
That is the super simplified version of what really happened. I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, The No Cry Sleep Solution, Sleepeasy Solution, The Sleep Lady, and Happiest Baby on the Block. I didn't follow any of them to the letter.
We have had a bedtime routine since three months: bath with dad, pyjamas, last nursing or bottle, books, bed. But he was still not letting us put him down awake. He would scream the moment we put him in the crib. We eased Ace towards falling asleep on his own and staying asleep through the night by following suggestions from The No Cry Sleep Solution. This involved a lot of participation from B. I think it is key to take Mom and the boobs out of the sleep and night time equation. B spent a few nights with the baby in the nursery to get an idea if the baby was really hungry or just waking up and wanting someone with him. The baby would go back to sleep with B comforting him, so we felt confident that it was not hunger and we could wean him off his night feedings and work toward a full night's sleep.
Then we used the night time weaning method from the SleepEasy book and used a modified Ferber/SleepEasy cry it out method. We got to the point where I could put Ace down in his crib, drowsy but awake, without him immediately starting to cry. Then we would leave the room. He would usually start crying and we'd give him five minutes. Then we would go back in and make sure he had his pacifier and his lovey and give him a pat and then leave. B would never let me stretch the time for Ace to cry longer than five minutes. Luckily Ace responded well to this and has been, mostly, sleeping through the night ever since. Occasionally something will happen that will interrupt his sleep schedule and he'll wake up screaming and won't go back down without being fed and maybe even rocked a bit, but it usually only lasts a few days and then he's back to sleeping from 7:30 pm until 7 am. It used to be closer to 7:30 am, but that stopped with daylight savings just recently. Up until just the last week I'd been doing a Dream Feed at 10:30, but I felt that Ace was ready to let that go and I didn't wean him from it, just dropped it and he did not have any reaction to that at all. Just kept sleeping.
Ace sleeping through the night changed my life - or changed it back to being more like it had been before baby. I find that I am a much happier, better mom and wife and person, really, if I am well rested.

A Little Less Crazy

We have moved Ace into his crib. We were going to wait until we got back from our trip to visit family, but I just wanted him out of the room. The first night I didn't sleep at all and I think it may have been a bit of separation anxiety. But now I'm sleeping fine, when I'm not in his room rocking him back to sleep, that is. He has calmed down a bit with his sleeping. He now sleeps in three hour increments, roughly. Last night I got one almost four hour stretch. Then he woke up at 5:30 am and would not stay asleep when I put him back in the crib, so I just brought him to bed. I don't know what else to do and I'm not going to just let him cry it out. Our pediatrician said he's too young and I don't know if I could take it.
In other baby news, he is making so much noise these days, talking away and it is so precious to hear his little sounds. He is so sweet. He has stopped hating the car, except when he gets sleepy and I have to reach back and keep his pacifier in his mouth until he falls asleep.
I was going to go to a moms' group today with him, but I don't know if I'll make it, seeing how he's still asleep for his morning nap and I'm not showered. Maybe I should jump in the shower before he wakes up.

Sleep is Still Crazy

Ace weighed in at 14lbs, is 24.5" long and has a head circumference of 17.5" I think that means he has a huge head and below average everything else.
His sleep only got crazier over the past week but today he went down drowsy but awake and slept for a good nap twice. I was amazed because this baby has been seriously crazy when it comes to sleeping lately. Screaming, fighting, twisting his whole body around. Yikes.
The doctor said everything was normal and suggested that we might start some sleep training in the next month or two. I think we are going to wait until we come back from our trip to the inlaws and then move Ace into his own room.
I pray that today means he is past this regression. Supposedly another one comes in two weeks or something like that. Yay.

Four Months

With four months comes something called the four month sleep regression. I read about it on AskMoxie.org, which is an excellent site for parents, in my opinion. I had heard that at four months babies' sleep gets a little crazy and that is definitely what is happening. I don't know if we are putting him down too early or if he is just developing so much that he can't sleep, but he is no longer a baby who wakes only to eat. He wakes up to eat, scream, fuss, smile at me, all of that. And then it takes a while to put him back to sleep. We are going to the doctor tomorrow, so I have a bunch of questions for her. Including, is it ok that Ace still wakes up to eat? I pretty much know that the answer to this is yes, babies sometimes don't sleep through the night until six months, but I have a book that says if your baby isn't sleeping through the night at four months you have a problem, and you caused it.
Four months has also brought rolling over. Ace rolls from his stomach to his back and seems to know when we want him to do it. He rolls over and lands with a smile on his face. Sometimes he gets too tired, however and whines between every attempt, but if he catches our eye, he will smile and try again. Such a sweet little guy (when he's not keeping me awake at 4 am). He rolls to his side from his back, bringing in his knees, but he has not flipped over yet.
Another new skill is grabbing. At first he was just grabbing for things held up for him, but now he focuses in on something that he wants and then starts going for it. The first time I noticed this he was in the sink taking a bath and I turned on the faucet. He stared at the water and then slowly reached his hand out to it, eventually putting his hand into the running water.

Little Charmer

I have fell so much more in love with Ace lately. In the past couple of weeks he has really found his voice and has started laughing at random things. I could listen to his breathy little moaning sounds all day. He makes them when he sees something he likes and just makes them repeatedly for a little while. It is the cutest thing I have ever heard.
He is also into playing peekaboo, but with rules. I have to be popping out from behind a stationery object, no moving a blanket over and then away from my face. He doesn't get that.
He is also becoming a great grabber and can manipulate objects with his hands. I can't wait until he can pick up his pacifier and stick it back into his own mouth.
He is just darling. I just wish that he would stop hating the car seat so much. I don't think it's very safe for me to be driving with my arm back and my hand fishing for the pacifier so I can stick it in his mouth while he screams. I've done this in the fast lane of the 10. Bad mommy.

3 month update

I can't believe Ace is three months. He is actually two weeks away from being 4 months, but I'm a bit behind. In three months, he has gone from being a baby that did nothing but eat, poop and sleep, to a person who smiles, makes amazing, joyous sounds, almost laughs, can hold his head up and reach for things and grab them. It is truly amazing how fast babies develop. Stages go by in a flash.
In these first three months, Ace gave us a run for our money by not gaining weight initially and by refusing to sleep unless a person was touching him or he was in his swing. After much worry about his weight gain and tons of pumping and even formula supplementing, Ace is now gaining weight slowly but surely and is a very healthy looking little guy, finally developing chunky baby thighs. As for the sleeping, I still hate hearing about three month olds - or any young babies, for that matter - who sleep through the night. My three month old still wakes up every two to three hours to eat during the night. He occasionally sleeps four to five hour stretches, but that's usually if he is in bed with us. He has developed the ability to sleep on his own in the bassinet next to our bed, but that is how he sleeps the worst. There was so much anxiety on my part about how he was sleeping and that I was creating a cosleeping nightmare, but I have since decided not to care. As long as I am getting some sleep, I am sure the baby will learn to sleep by himself eventually.
Ace's favorite thing to do recently is lie under a tree and watch the leaves moving. He loves his mobiles in the home and trees are just large scale mobiles, really. The leaves, the birds flying overhead and even the wind blowing over him, tickle him to no end and he happily lies back, taking it all in and moving his little body around with excitement.
His least favorite thing is riding in the car. He screams for a while and then either falls asleep or just looks out the window. It breaks my heart to hear him scream while I'm driving, but I have to admit that I don't pull over. I am hoping that he just gets over it - very soon!
His favorite toys at this point are little stuffed animals with wooden parts and parts that are filled with that crinkly material that makes that sound that babies love. He can now grab for them and put them in his mouth. Everything is going into his very, very drooly mouth.
Ace flew on an airplane and went into a pool for the first time in this, his third month. The plane travel went very well. He wasn't too sure about the pool, but it produced his first sustained laughing when a friend kept popping up from under the water in front of him. B was crying, he was so enthralled by the sound of Ace laughing.
Ace can hold his head up now and loves looking around a room. He is able to entertain himself a bit more these days and does not always need to be held, as long as he can see me or the other people in the room. It makes it easier to get things done, but I find that I still don't get much done.
I have started thinking about going back to work, but am not sure what job will be available for me with this stinking economy. I don't want to leave Ace yet, even though my mother would be the one watching him. I want to be with him for at least a year, maybe two. I need to find some sort of ideal part time gig that pays tons!

Traveling with Baby

We went to Washington DC this past weekend with Ace and I have to say it was much easier than expected. I wore Ace in a Moby Wrap and we wheeled our car seat and Snap and Go to the gate with us. I was able to wear Ace through security, with B putting the car seat and stroller through the X-ray machine. Ace didn't cry at all on the plane, which we attribute to feeding him at take off and landing. On our return flight, upon landing, a passenger one row behind us announced, "That baby is awesome!" I agree!
One unfortunate discovery we made was that United Airlines no longer allows people with small children to board early. I still managed to board early, but on our flight home this was met with some bad behavior from the gate agent. Everyone else was much more accommodating on both legs of our trip.
We didn't travel with much gear. We brought the sleeping wedge that Ace sleeps on and he slept on that in between us on the bed. We brought tons of extra clothes and diapers, but not too much else.
It was a nice trip to DC. We had an ok hotel, close to the White House, so we walked down and took at look at it. We saw some Tamil people protesting and Michelle's vegetable garden. I was hoping to see the Lincoln Memorial at night, but after the wedding I was just too tired. We'll go again when Ace is old enough to appreciate it.

Holy Cow - Where did those two months go?

On February 19th, I had a beautiful baby boy who we named Ace (not really, but that's what I'm going with here). Since then I have been totally wrapped up in the whole Mommy thing. It has been hard, tiring, interesting and wonderful. Details to follow.

Lovely Day

I am so happy to have our new president. I watched Obama take the oath of office and settled in to watch his speech, and then I fell asleep. I am seriously tired these days. Extremely tired. It's sort of depressing how tired I am.
I went to the Dr. today and he said that my cervix is closed but soft. That is good news. I am not ready yet! I have some more cleaning and organizing to do and B needs to put together more furniture and have the carseats installed and I need to make some nursery art!
Up until this past Sunday I had been saying that I was completely happy to keep the baby inside of me for now, that it was really convenient and I wasn't ready to have the actual baby to take care of, but then I had a really rough Sunday night and I've had awful acid reflux and I'm huge and can barely move. So now I'm ready to have the baby out of me. But not really. Not yet.
Stay put baby.

Baby Stuff

As I was starting my day, I received a phone call from the hospital where we are delivering regarding a maternity tour. I was told that, even though the tours for January are booked, I would be squeezed in either today or next Friday. I opted for next Friday, hoping that B would be able to get off of work and come with me. I was very happy that the hospital had been so accommodating, especially with switching doctors late in the game and having my due date so soon. Then I went swimming and when I got back to the car I had a message from the hospital. I called back and was told that I was being called back in regards to the maternity tour. I told the woman what I had discussed with the previous person, but it was as if that didn't really happen and I was told that the only tour I could go on was February 6th. A WEEK FROM MY DUE DATE. That's not cool. I am wondering if I should just show up on January 23rd and see what happens.
After swimming, I headed to Babies R Us and Walmart to use some gift cards we've been given to buy the random but supposedly necessary stuff that people probably won't buy us as gifts and that we'll need when the baby comes. I bought nail clippers, pacifiers - both smoothies and nuks, a changing table cover, baby caps, and for me some lovely items such as maxi pads. I was trying to find a donut pillow, but didn't see one at Walmart. Oh the horror.

Telling the Parents

So now all future grandparents know. We managed to tell everyone in a three day period and, happily, everyone is thrilled. We already have an offer to purchase a glider for us (I am thinking this one) and the baby has its first outfit and blanket.
Shopping for this outfit brought something to my attention - finding gender neutral clothes for infants is next to impossible and our society is still pretty sexist in how it assigns certain imagery to infants. Male babies have trucks, planes, sports, boats, space, and blue animals. Anything blue, for that matter, is for boys. Female babies have flowers and pink. It's maddening. I got a bit upset about it and voiced my unhappiness to my in laws. Unfortunately this lead to a lecture about gender roles and teaching your children who they are that came from such a conservative place that it truly boggled my mind.

Waiting...T minus 4 days

So am I pregnant or not? I don't feel particularly pregnant. But... I do have unusual feelings in my boobs. Or am I imagining that? And I have been tired. But aren't I always? I usually get my period on the 9th or 10th of each month, so I have four or five days before I've missed. If I don't get my period, then I am going to wait at least seven days before taking a test.
B is convinced that I am pregnant, but I keep telling him not to think about it because I don't want him to be disappointed. We went to see Sex and the City on Saturday (I thought it was ok - it raised my feminist hackles up a bit too much. I miss the sentiment of the original series in its early days) and went for dinner afterward and B and I got to the restaurant early so I asked the waitress to bring me a lemonade, but to put it in a drink glass. She looked confused first, but then got it and asked me "Are you going to tell your friends tonight?" I was embarrassed but told her that it was way to early, that I wasn't even sure, but just playing it safe and didn't want to talk about it with my friends.
I hadn't really thought that I was pregnant, but then I was having odd feelings in my boobs and thinking, well, maybe? and then I started thinking about everything that I've been eating and drinking since I may have conceived and whether or not that is going to have an impact on my maybe baby. I think I've been ok. I've been taking sips of alcohol here and there to not raise any suspicions, which is stupid. I've been taking extra vitamin C with my prenatals to prevent constipation, which I'll stop doing. And I drank some diet soda. I've switched to full sugar drinks (mainly juice) for now. I'm sure I'll switch to water if I find out I'm pregnant. It is so weird not to know. But that makes me feel that I'm not. Wouldn't I know?

I Am Scared of My Prenatal Vitamins

I am not pregnant, but when I went to my last gynecologist appointment in November, she told me that I should start on prenatal vitamins, since we were going to start trying in the Spring. She gave me a few sample boxes and I figured that I would try them in January.
I have never been so constipated in my life. I asked my friend who already has kids and she said that this tends to happen, but that I should get one with a stool softener and that would fix the problem. I was too embarrassed to tell her that the one I was taking did have a stool softener. I suffered through all fifteen pills and then stopped taking them. That fixed the problem. I got my prescription filled and said I'd start them up again the next month.
It is now April and I have not taken another one of them. I am scared of them.
But I am going to have to start taking them because B and I said that we'd start trying in May and it is now early April. I'm having second thoughts about starting in May because I have to be in my friend's wedding in June. I don't want to be sick or fat and in my friend's wedding.
Or am I just scared of getting pregnant? And do I have to take these prenatals, or can I just wait until I get pregnant and start taking them?

Good Results

I went to the doctor earlier in the week and they took blood to run all sorts of tests on. Turns out that I have excellent cholesterol levels and my liver and kidneys are functioning just fine. However, my thyroid is doing something weird that "may portend" low thyroid function. I have to have another blood test in three months. I'm not concerned about it. In fact, I had a feeling that my thyroid isn't up to par, since it is always so difficult for me to stay thin. I had voiced this concern to B, but he always laughed and said I was paranoid. So ha!
The doctor also forced tons of prenatal vitamins on me and gave me a quick, but highly detailed, talked about trying to conceive a baby. I told her that my not being on birth control didn't really mean that we were going to be having a baby soon, but she didn't seem to believe me. I don't remember what she told me, really, just something about trying on day 10, 12, and 14. I'll have to keep that in mind when the time comes.